we're blogging at a bar
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
