You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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