He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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