Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
