Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
