i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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