The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
