hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
