it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
