So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
