my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
