Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
