also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
