First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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