and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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