I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
