Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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