last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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