you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Randomize
