I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
