So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
