Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
