did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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