I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
