dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
