i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
