All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
