So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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