Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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