Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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