...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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