dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You can't motorboat a personality
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
