I've blown a few things in my day
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
