She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
