what day is it and did you see me today?
love makes seman taste better
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
