If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
