you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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