Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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