And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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