Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
