ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
birth control should be required to get into college
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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