so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
