just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
