Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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