You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
