Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
