he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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