She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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