if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
