Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
