my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
