Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
