So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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